Goodbyes don't last forever. At least in my case they don't. I've never been quite able to let things go. I keep coming back to them over and over again, no matter how bad they are for me. I keep coming back to the people who hurt me most and I keep repeating my mistakes even though somewhere deep inside I know I'm going to get hurt even worse than the last time.
And so I'm back to blogger, a place that used to be a trigger for my disordered behavior in so many ways. Maybe I'm only back for a little while, maybe for good. I really missed it here though. The truth is, I feel like this is the only place where I really belong, the one place where I can be heard.
I quit blogging in December and shortly after that, I quit writing altogether. I thought that once I stopped putting all the sadness on paper, my life would magically become better. But it didn't happen, it just doesn't work like that. Truth be told, I think it made things worse. Suddenly I was left all alone with my thoughts that I just couldn't share with anyone, I didn't know how. Writing is what I always knew and loved, it is my way of dealing with everything.
And now I want to write again, about nothing and everything. I want to pour my soul into magical words.
I hope you still remember me. I sure never have forgotten you.
Love
~ Meg
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